Gabrielle Bains 2016

"I did not know that this scholarship would bring so much to me and educate me in such a different way. I thank you so much for this and I cannot stress enough how greatly I appreciate this. It has really changed me life and I hope this essay reflects the life-changing experience I had."

"The Value of a Dollar"

"Everyone dreams of fulfilling a life goal, a vision. It might have been a thought they had when they were little, or a passion developed when they graduated from college, but everyone wants to have an established purpose. But it's the means of accomplishing the dream or goal that begin one's journey and defines who one shall become. And through certain steps you are able to become that person- whether through money, experience, relationships, prophesy, or in my case-education. And so with the help of God and this scholarship I was able to take that huge step to becoming who I believe I was meant to become.

I believe people change. I believe that as you grow older and experience different things, you start to think and understand differently, your begin to realize the smell of a flower rather than just the color. I also believe though there is something constant in everyone, a core, that makes you you, and nobody can take that away; your soul. So while I was studying away at Azusa Pacific University I constantly felt like something was missing internally. Like everyone was in on this big secret and I was left out because, well, I didn't know the secret. It was something about God. But I couldn't put my finger on it. I was going through trials and tribulations and was fighting sickness after sickness. Repeatedly I had questioned who I was, who I've been, and who I was going to be. I fought mental battles, to which some I lost and some ended in a truce from mental and physical fatigue. I cried out to God on multiple occasions and prayed harder and harder begging for a sweep of spiritual comfort. I had given up and felt empty.  

And then I felt Him move. I felt the presence of something greater that took hold of my soul and carried me into battle with the full armor of God. I had an answer to the agonizing questions to which I desperately sought out an answer and had attempted to fill in the blank with that of false secular security. The answer to who I was, who I've been and who I was going to be, rained down on me when I could do nothing but look up. And I knew I was a child of God, I had been a child of God, and I would always be- a child of God. I had always struggled with hearing Him and feeling Him. I envied those who spoke in tongues or could speak His word or dance with the spirit moving from within and for so long I had truly believed that God had forgotten about me. That I was alone and unimportant. That I had no spiritual gift and I would continue to go through the motions for as long as I lived. 

But then this door was opened for me. It is the door that has stayed opened for the Caucasian male and the door that has been locked for generations and generations of African Americans. But we have found the loophole of which that door can be opened, a key that has been passed around. And because of that the next generation and next generation has the ability to hold open more and more doors and even create them. So with the blessings of God, I am writing this essay to you because just as someone finally held open a door for you, you did so for me. 

I was accepted into a Christian university- Azusa Pacific University, because this scholarship program opened that door for me and let me walk through it. But that is not the only door it opened for me. It allowed me to breakthrough and have that connection that I so craved and needed with God. I had fought to get to that school and this scholarship helped bring me there. I was blessed twice, and not many can say they were blessed so greatly once.

Here in America we hold the value of a dollar as the equivalent of the American Dream. The more dollars you have, the more access you have to a better world. Your chances of success rise, as your standard worries lower. It's like this "secret club", in the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald, that one finally gets invited to after trying to obtain membership for years. Society has allowed a simple item such as money to become perverted, but with great hope, not beyond repair. 

But what this scholarship program does is more. It truly brings the real value of a dollar. It gives hope, creates doors. It educated me not only in an academic light to which I hold a great amount of importance, but it educated me spiritually as well. 

The school wasn't at the top of my list but I felt something pulling me there. And when I got there I went through a series of things that changed my mind, my heart, and my soul. I experienced something of the greater on that Christian campus. And I would have never had the place nor that exact experience if it were not for the impact and helping hand of this scholarship and more directly the ladies who bring this scholarship to those in need. And to those ladies, to those God helping hands, I say thank you and God bless you and I have begun my journey."